The expectation at the beginning of our relationship was that we could be friends, but not romantic partners. However, over the course of spending time with her, I fell in love with her. I loved her like I did no other woman before her. I fell in love with her love for Jesus, her bubbling personality, her spontaneity, among many other things. I enjoyed and treasured every moment I had with her. There were many times when I was with her that I thought to myself, “There is no place I would rather be than right here.” I imagined a future of marrying her, being a father to her son, having children together.
However, my dreams came crashing down one night on Facebook Messenger of all places. We had spent the day together as we went to her church, went on a walk together, and even held hands briefly. After I returned home, we talked on Messenger. I told her how much I enjoyed our time together- especially when we held hands. Then, she said the words that would end our relationship: “I am not interested in dating you.”
I reflected on our time together to see if I missed something. She told me she liked me. She told me she was interested in me. She held my hand. The lines were blurred between friend and romantic partner constantly. Why did she do this over Facebook? Why couldn’t she had done in person after we spent the whole day together or at least on the phone?
I wondered what God was doing. I didn’t want it to be the end. I was hoping that this would be “happily ever after”. After all the hurt and pain I had experienced in life prior to that point-why this? Why did heartbreak have to enter the picture? I deserved a little happiness.
I was angry and sad towards God, but eventually came to see that God was faithful in all of my previous hard times- why wouldn’t he be faithful now? I needed a fresh start in my relationship with God. I needed God to pick up the broken pieces of my life and make me whole in his time, in his ways.
I needed a song, a bible verse, something, that would serve as a re-commitment to God and following in his footsteps. The song "Open Hands" by Laura Story became my recommitment to God to give God the whole story of my life.
I would now give every part of my life, even heartbreak, every victory, every loss to God, so that all I would have is open hands before God. Jesus has been here since the beginning of time and has seen the Kingdom of God in all of its beauty and wholeness. Jesus loves us so much that he came to bring wholeness and restoration to the broken pieces of our lives through his death on the cross for our sins. He gave up his life freely, so that we “may have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10)
Jesus is saying to you today, “My precious son/daughter, allow me to take your brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. It is only then I can mold you and shape you into the masterpiece I created you to be.”
Prayer: God, we want our lives to be one of open hands before You. So we give you all of us, our dreams, our hopes, our victories and losses. You came to bring wholeness and restoration to our lives. After all, didn't you say, "I make all things new!" So Jesus, take our brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. Amen!
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